Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Twizzler Fairy

On Sunday afternoon, wiping the sleep from my eyes, I opened the back door and, lo! there on my back porch was a three-pound plastic tub of individually-wrapped strawberry Twizzlers. You don't see that every day, believe me, at least not in these parts. Well, I did a little research and found out that, in all likelihood, the candy was left there by the Twizzler Fairy. There was an extensive article about her at Wikipedia. Apparently she flits about the towns and villages looking for people with sad faces and overgrown lawns. Usually the people she gives her Twizzlers to also tend to have an inordinate enjoyment of sweets, are likely to be seen wearing unkempt clothing, they have unclean kitchens, strange musical tastes, flat feet, slight hearing loss in one ear, dull social lives, and leaky pipes in the basement. I don't see how it is then, that she happened to stop at my house. After all, my hearing is just fine.
I like the Twizzler Fairy and hope she comes back again, because my Twizzlers are nearly gone. According to Wikipedia, she can be enticed into coming back again by stocking the refrigerator with Corona and Hershey Kisses.

Unrelated Links:
Wacky Packages
Snakes on a Plane
Sick Goldfish
Darwin Awards
Weird Converter

5 comments:

Mr. Austin said...

Crap. You made me look.

Laura said...

I wish there were fairies or elves that enjoy cleaning one's house. Where are these creatures when you need them? If you find out how the above creatures can be enticed to come over to one's house let us know!

Richard in Savannah, GA said...

Neil, I really don't think the Twizzler entity's sexual orientation should enter into it. Perhaps The Twizzler Person or Entity of Alternative Lifestyle Choice is more politic. It certainly rolls off the tongue...

JadedDeath said...

Hopefully the twizzler fairy goes beyond cleveland...maybe Len and Nora told the fairy to come visit you, and they thought you couldn't hear well.

Neil said...

Mr A, haha. Laura, the only labor-saving beings known to science are the elves that help cobblers. There is nothing for house cleaning. Richard, you're point is well taken. Only a retard would use politically incorrect language these days. Jdeath, I happen to know that the Twizzler fairy goes everywhere except certain parts of Newark.